Bakersfieldpethead's 2011 Christmas Journal

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bakersfieldpethead
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Pethead since: 1990
Location: Bakersfield, CA
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Bakersfieldpethead's 2011 Christmas Journal

Post by bakersfieldpethead » Sun Dec 25, 2011 11:34 pm

Bakersfieldpethead's Christmas Journal

December 25, 2011
7:00pm (PST)
And now as everyone settles in for the night. We reflect on this Christmas and ask, “How come everyone asks me what I want, and then they end up getting me something I can’t even use?”

(Take a breath)

Ahhh that’s better.

We reflect on the more important things in life about this Holy Day. Like “I’m a diabetic and all they bring is sugar loaded pies, nothing sugar free in there gramps huh?…..I guess this Christmas they want a dead ME!!!”

(Take a breath, calm down, it’s alright)

Annnnd now relaxing

There’s snow outside, I built an awesome snow man. The kids just adore it and they will be playing with him outside until winter goes away. The reindeer on the roof took four days to put up for me because I’m scared of heights and after much planning, a lot of energy and finally getting up there, almost slipping and falling to my death the reindeer are up there and the kids enjoy seeing it every time they are outside. You know the funny thing is my wife nagged me about putting them up, after I got them up she complained “It took you long enough!!” Then she had the nerve to say “Rudolf looks crooked from the rest of the reindeer” He’s the leader of the pact you idiot, He doesn’t stand the same way because He’s getting ready to take off!!!!!!!!!!!

Aghhhhhhhhhhh What’s the use ……………………………………………. ………….………………………………………………………………………

9:00pm (PST)
Just got back from outside, jumped on the roof with a shovel and just ripped all the reindeer off the roof, I’ll make the kids clean it up tomorrow when I tell them that Santa and Frosty Died in a fire accident………..It’s not to far off from a lie, I did put frosty in the wheelbarrow and brought him into the din where I proceeded to shovel him into the fireplace to put the fire out……..yes, the entire thing. I guess leaving the Hat scarf and buttons on will go with my little plot to let the kids know “Daddy just killed Christmas for next year, because mommy wasn’t happy with anything Daddy did to please her!!!!!”

Goodnight Everyone, See ya next year…….OH I Forgot, New Year’s will be next weekend…..hmmmm Maybe if my wife wants fireworks and a little spark in our love live I’ll kiss her while she holds a lit firecracker…..yeah maybe I can save this year yet!!!! Better make sure my youtube account is good, don’t want to wait to upload that video :)

Merry Christmas and have a good New Years everyone!!!!
From Bakes

(This story is fictional and dysfunctional in every possible way, hate mail will not be tolerated as to the fact that Bakes isn’t even married nor does He have any kids. WARNING some stories of bakes may cause spontaneous laughter or the wetting of one self; this is ok as Bakes wets himself regularly in order to maintain his self-awareness. Please do not correspond with Bakes, as to he has no candy factory and no golden ticket will be issued. All rights reserved, © 2011 Bakersfieldpethead USA, other countries are well aware of their own copyright laws.)
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"In the middle of the night, the idiot himself awaits"
"I have been young, now I am old-ish"

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