Forum changes

[brent]

Divorced musicians cannot be in a Christian rock band or share about Jesus Christ, backward masking is evil and all over Petra's music, when you play Petra music backward you get your salvation and your hair back, some roadies on a Petra tour drank beer, so Petra cannot be a Christian band, Sue cannot cook, Sue is actually Susan Boyle and none of you are smart enough to figure it out, Petrafan1 knows everything and he is always right, Petra's buss broke the speed limit so they are sinning to share the love of Jesus, John Schlitt used to wear shorts on stage during soundcheck which is an abomination because it showed his legs, Bob played Peavey so he is deaf, Louie hates Peavey drums (ok, this is actually true, haha), Louie loves digital drums, Louie painted the Whitehouse and installed water purification systems in it, Kiss are Petra fans, Kiss and Petra did drugs together at the same strip club and joked about doing each other's music, Bob played with Kiss for one night to repay him for Gene Simmons covering for Ronnie one night. Schlitt owns stock in Planters. Greg went with JDB to KKK meetings, the bible code reveals that the Petra dream team will play in concert on 12/21/12.

In the likely event that someone will not read the whole darn thread and will take this completely out of context, let me say, "READ THE WHOLE THREAD AND DO NOT TAKE THESE STATEMENTS OUT OF CONTEXT."

[Shell]

Oh, yeah...And anyone who prefers Petra before 1986 is a moron and has no taste in music and anyone who prefers Petra after 1986 hates everyone and has a secret agenda to take over the world.

And the best one: The members of CP and Farewell Petra hate each other.

[Masada1]

Ok...that's just funny!!!

[Shell]

I'm glad you enjoyed it Eric.

[bakersfieldpethead]

Oh this is gonna get good.

Let's not forget these.

Petra originally was formed after a bad revamp of the band "Heartman, DeGroff, Steels and Nash". John Schlitt's last name sounds like a foul curse word therefore He is of the devil and Louie Weaver found out about it so John fired Him. Bob came back on the road with a statement to his family that He now wants to stay on the road to raise John. Bob's original demand when they signed with inpop was to put a big W on the spine of every CD just to keep some consistency with some of the older albums for a change, they didn't so Petra retired.
Bob now makes guitars because other guitar companies forgot who Bob was when He came back. Ronnie lost his hair in a shaving match with Greg after they both couldn’t win the battle of the bass’s. John Schlitt is mad about Classic Petra and the fact that He overstocked on Tomato Juice and Diet Coke back in 2004 thinking there was going to be another tour in the works. Half of the zone thinks that the other half is out to get them, the other half of the zone thinks that the first half of the zone are just idiots.

[Jan]

Bob can no longer play the guitar because he has arthritis. John said "God is STU-PID" so he is a hypocrite. Petra said the bible is a "book of lies" (Counsel of the Holy) so they are not saved, or at least they weren't when that song came out.

[LivingRock]

I wanted to laugh out loud at these, but unfortunately I'm at the library so I had to settle for grinning ear to ear. I'm sure a few people think I'm nuts.

[executioner]

I just saw these, very funny.