The Petra Zone

Christian rock band Petra, winner of ten Dove awards and four Grammy awards, today decided to call it quits after thirty years of producing some of the most popular Christian rock in the business. "The traveling was really starting to get to us," said frontman John Schlitt in a statement aired live on CNN, "and that was only in the 80's and 90's. Then in the last few years, the not traveling is what started getting to us. Then we all just decided, why bother? So we went out for pizza."

Founding member and principal songwriter Bob Hartman commented during a question and answer session with reporters, "I'm just pretty much out of ideas. I've written a song about every single topic and doctrine in the Bible, and there are only so many riffs in a guitar, and I've used them up. If we went on I would have to buy a new guitar and begin studying the Apocrypha." Bass player Greg Bailey added, "My bass is pretty played out too, man. I was looking into a tuba." Paul Simmons, drummer, added, "Hey, wait a minute... I just got here!"

Schlitt announced that while they were at Pizza Hut, the bandmembers discovered that each of them enjoys pizza with anchovies. "You don't mess with chemistry like that," he told reporters, "and since we could all play musical instruments, we decided to start a band." Although the name of the band has not yet been decided, Schlitt stated that the new bandmates were trying to decide between two choices: "Outkast" and "Petra."

PETRA IS NOT GOING TO BREAK UP, AND THAT IS A FACT, BUT NICE JOKE ANYWAY.

Don't tell me someone created another username just to post a horribly done April Fool's joke. At least the one I heard about Barry Sanders possibly coming back to play for the Baltimore Ravens got me going for a minute.

For those of you who are slow, lirpa loof is april fool backward.

Aw, I thought it was sort of funny. Corny maybe. It is April 1 after all.

My girlfriend got me good this morning, I'm such a chump.

That was hilarious, although I could tell instantly that was going to be an April Fool's joke.

I'll never forget the best April Fool I ever did...or was going to do. It was 10 years ago, back when they used to have Petra on Real Videos. That year, April 1 happened to be on a Saturday, which is when they show Real Videos. For days I was planning my joke, which was going to be that when Real Videos came on, I was going to get all excited and run tell my family that Petra was hosting Real Videos. Only the joke turned on me, because when it came time for Real Videos, who should be hosting it that time but Petra!!!!!

April Fools to you too! LOL!

I gotta tell my story. When I first started working at Arbys/Sbarro quite a few years ago I started out making salads and paninis in the kitchen in the mornings. Well, one morning I came in, couldn't find the tomato wedger, the tomato slicer, etc. The girl that was cooking the roast beef couldn't get the slicer to work (in the kitchen). Which meant no slicing bread or cheese for the paninis, no beef sandwiches, etc. I'd have to wedge and slice tomatoes by hand. (Yeah, right!) Both her and I were on the verge of tears cause we were gonna have to slice the bread, cheese and beef with electric knives. You know how thick those things make your turkeys and other meats? Not only that, but we were not gonna be done by 10 AM cause we'd be slowed down. Well, I found all my stuff in the storage room and the manager finally broke down and told us the slicer was unplugged. Why we didn't think to check that is beyond me. Neither of us caught on that it was April Fool's. And to top it off, the manager was helping us look for the stuff and kept a straight face the WHOLE time. It was HIS fault. LOL! We never did live that one down.

You scared me! That wasn't write. No more jokes like that.

michael

It's April Fools. Don't take it too seriously.

All the talk about pizza and being on CNN shouda tipped you off.

Awwwww..... let's see, could it have been Stephen? Or maybe it was Michael in disguise? Hmmmm.....

Shell wrote:All the talk about pizza and being on CNN shouda tipped you off.

Yeah! Like any of us here is going to watch CNN!

LexingtonPethead wrote:

Shell wrote:All the talk about pizza and being on CNN shouda tipped you off.

Yeah! Like any of us here is going to watch CNN!

CNN = Communist & Nazi Network

LexingtonPethead wrote:Awwwww..... let's see, could it have been Stephen? Or maybe it was Michael in disguise? Hmmmm.....

Lirpa sounds like a girl name. I don't run around in drag!

Hats off to whoever wrote that dandy little piece....

Someone has some reporting experience in their background!

Tonight I was thinking of ways to have some fun following up to that original post on April Fools Day. I could have written something like:

"After reading that I phoned up my friend at H2O and found out that it's true! The band is going to honour their current touring committments and then call it a day. There are a few exceptions, including the October show in Stuttgart and their late summer festival appearances. So the last Petra concert ever will be the July 31 concert in Scotch Plain, NJ. Get your tickets fast!"

Then I started getting more creative and came up with this:

"This is not entirely true. Petra is not breaking up, but there is a huge change coming. Due to personal reasons, John Schlitt has asked for a "leave of absense" from the band. No word on why, but it could be as long as the end of 2004 before we see John back with the band. They're currently looking for an interim replacement on lead vocals. Their first choice was Jamie Rowe, who worked with the band recording both the English and Spanish versions of "Jekyll & Hyde". Unfortunately, Jamie is unavailable due to an already busy schedule, with a new solo album coming out, working with his new band "London Calling", and joining the "!Hero" tour. Other names on the shortlist include Rick Florian and Lou Gramm."

Anyway, I was just having some fun so I decided to post it. Like somebody from PEI would have a friend at H2O. Although now it's brought up a fun discussion question: Who else would be a good lead singer for Petra? I'll start a new thread for that one though...

Like somebody from PEI would have a friend at H2O.

Hey, you never know....

like, someone from SHEBOYGAN has a friend who's in Petra.... it can happen.