The Petra Zone

my dad died. Naval Chaplain, age 53. Served in Vietnam, and Desert Storm.

PSA: Men, if you are 35 or older and have not had a prostate exam I urge you to schedule one today. 6 out of 10 men WILL develop Prostate Cancer. It kills many, but is fairly easily treated if caught early. Once you experience discomfort or pain in that area it is TOO late. This was the case of my father. At the first signs of discomfort he went in to be checked. By that time he was stage 4.

QUESTION: Why do I have little desire to visit my dad's grave? I am not scared to go, nor do I become emotional when I am there. I do miss him - even to the extent of sadness and tears, at times. I do think of him very often.
But I have no real desire to visit his grave, nor do I feel any connection with the site. Is this normal? Does it mean anything?












Sorry this post is so heavy - I promise not to make it a habit.
My next post will have something to do with aliens, John Schlitt and and the Indianapolis Colts

I wouldn't read too much into how you feel about visiting your Dad's grave site. When my Mom first died, I went when the headstone was put up (about 2 months after her death). It was bitterly cold and I felt nothing. I went again in the spring, and that time I was overcome with emotion. I used to go on holidays, Mother's Day, etc. and sometimes I would feel a lot of emotion and sometimes, nothing at all. So, I don't think it has anything to do with the actual site. Now that I don't live in the same city, I rarely go there. However, last year on the anniversary of her death, I thought about her all day.

I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to visit your Dad's grave, nor do I think it is wrong for people to want to visit often. Everybody is different, and what is meaningful to one may not be ot another. Also, as in my case, you may change your mind in later years and want to visit.

Now, I have to admit, I am looking forward to your next post. I'm not into aliens, but I would be interested in what you have to say about John Schlitt and the Indianapolis Colts - especially if you are making a connection!

My dad passed away about 13 years ago and, at first, I thought going to his site was something I was supposed to do. My mom and siblings pointed this out to me: Dad isn't there, just his shell. He is really in Heaven. Our last connection shouldn't be at the grave but in our memories of him. As the years go by, I spend less and less time visiting the grave site. I think the first year I went out there alot but I don't think I visited his site for about two or more years. My tribute to him is in the way I remember him and the way I can carry on his legacy.