BAKERSFIELDPETHEAD IS BACK WITH A NEW ONE!!!!!!

[bakersfieldpethead]

Idiotism (idiot-ism) to some could mean a religion. Some would recommend it as a handicap, while others just get flat out annoyed at the idea that there could be one living on their block, much less in their own home.

How do we determine an idiot? Well there are two types of idiots; you have your over all everyday idiot and then you have your blond idiot. While I�m sure you can look at someone in your own house and say something to the idea of �Then there was Joe!� the truth is your loved one falls in to one of these two categories.

AVERAGE IDIOTISM

Your average idiot can take the cake sometimes, with remarks such as �Hey, I sucked all the beer off of the carburetor, try and start the car now.� Or how about one shouting �MOM, I hit john & it caused my hand to hurt,� and the other idiot who is innocent will shout out, �He started it.� Those types of idiots will make you hang your head and shake repeatedly while saying �Why me Lord, Why me?�

BLOND VS BLOND IDIOT

If there is any possible way to tell a blond from a blond idiot, it would be a miracle. However we will make this feeble attempt. Blonds are not hard to come by these days, neither are blond idiots. Here is an example to tell the difference. A Blond walks into a wall, her response is �Oh a wall�� how did that get there?� However if this could even get worse, it will with a blond idiot. A Blond Idiot walks into a wall and she shouts, �GET OUT OF MY WAY.� It is pure laughter at this point, because there isn�t much else you can do for them except just laugh.

Another example is to take two books and sit them down in front of a Blond & a Blond idiot, one has a bunch of stories with no pictures, and the other is just a book of blank pages. The Blond will pick the first book with stories, because at least she can look for the pictures just in case. The Blond Idiot on the other hand will pick the book of blank pages and try to figure out what type of picture she�s looking at.

IDIOTISM AT BEST

At best this wave of intelligently challenged people is nothing short of a full bladder infection, but don�t tell idiots that. They might just get worried every time they have a headache. If you feel symptoms of Idiotism, don�t waist anymore time, you�ve already got it. As the rest of us know, Idiotism is all about the mindless and not the mindful.


-First sessions of a new book under work by Bakersfieldpethead �Idiots & the way we live.�
06.28.05

[SamScales]

.....and then there's Bakersfield Pethead........

[seichu kaisho]

An idiot you are not. . .

Pick up a dead skunk from the roadside, and extract the odor into a bottle of deodorant you must.

Then an idiot you shall become.

And may the forces not enter your nose. . .

[bakersfieldpethead]

Hmmm

It shows, know you

Idiot I am, king of idiots, become I have.
Manydays After the First, I was idiot and there idiot remain I will.

[seichu kaisho]

IT IS POINTLESS TO RESIST throwing a dirty sock in Bakersfield's face, MY SON.

*huhhhhh. . . prhhhhh. . cough cough hack cough*

[onnyII]

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair)

2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside".
(Evidently, the shoplifter special)

3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how. . . ?)

4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost."
(But it's *just* a suggestion)

5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down".
(Oops, too late!)

6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
(As night follows the day . . . .)


7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save even more time?)

8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with ead-colds off those forklifts.)

9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(One would hope)

10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to what?)

11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use".
(I gotta admit, I'm curious).

12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts".
(NEWS FLASH)

13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: Fly Delta).

14. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
(I don't blame the company I blame parents for this
one).

15. On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a chance of this happening somewhere?...)

[seichu kaisho]

Yep, I've seen those before. They're pretty funny!!

I think the human race is blessed to have the gift of stupidity. Without it, there would be no laughter, no happiness, no choking on your own saliva. . .

[onnyII]

...no choking on your own saliva. . .

ummm......

[Shell]

Peanuts can cause one of the worst food allergy reactions if you happen to be allergic to them, so I can understand the reasoning behind that one. And you'd be shocked how many people will try to drive when they've taken something that makes them drowsy, so I can sort of understand the sleep aid one too. But the rest are hilarious.

[SamScales]

Oh, my gosh......... that's just too funny! I needed a good laugh! I was rolling! Thanks for posting that!