I got this in the mail
I got this in the mail
I got this today and thougkt I would save some stamps and post it.
To: All Concerned
From: Santa Claus
I regret to inform you that, effective immediately,
I will no longer serve
the States of Florida, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, or Arkansas ... on Christmas Eve.
Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209.
As part of the new and better contract ... I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind. However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus.
His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls ... however, there are a few differences between us. Those being:
1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."
2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds (or a moon pie) on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy.
3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.
4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen" when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty."
5. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" and you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"
6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off."
7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other.
And Finally,
8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids ... turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.
Sincerely Yours,
Santa Claus
To: All Concerned
From: Santa Claus
I regret to inform you that, effective immediately,
I will no longer serve
the States of Florida, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, or Arkansas ... on Christmas Eve.
Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209.
As part of the new and better contract ... I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind. However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus.
His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls ... however, there are a few differences between us. Those being:
1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."
2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds (or a moon pie) on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy.
3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.
4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen" when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty."
5. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" and you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"
6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off."
7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other.
And Finally,
8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids ... turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.
Sincerely Yours,
Santa Claus
0 x
Those asleep will be awakened
Not a one will be forsaken.
Not a one will be forsaken.
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He.
You're stealing my thunder amiga, that's the type of thing I would post. Bet you get it from some of the Petheads who live in those states.
I'm gonna have to come up with some cornball Petra Christmas story in the next week or so.
I'm gonna have to come up with some cornball Petra Christmas story in the next week or so.
0 x
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good is
that I live in M�xico where we will be receiving a santa wearing shorts and sandals HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
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...He will rejoice over thee with joy; He will rest in His love, He will joy over thee with singing...
Zephaniah 3:17
I love this verse!!!!!!
Facebook account: Elo palacios
Zephaniah 3:17
I love this verse!!!!!!
Facebook account: Elo palacios
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- epdc
- Pethead Fanatic
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LOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH MY GOD DEBBIE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. AWWWWWWW DON`T we all have weird fears when we are kids ? LOL.
talking about being weird lol, I remember one of my biggest fears was that my parents were going to left me (lol). REALLY, everytime we went to the supermarket I always stick to them like glue, I was always afraid that they were planning to leave me there and pack everything and go somewhere else. I also used to think that in elementary school if my mom ddn`t arrived on time for me. I remembered one day I arrived from school and nobody were home (my mom went to the supermarket), and I sat there and my dog was there and I started to cry: "I told you, they just were looking for the moment, we are all alone now".
GEEZ
talking about being weird lol, I remember one of my biggest fears was that my parents were going to left me (lol). REALLY, everytime we went to the supermarket I always stick to them like glue, I was always afraid that they were planning to leave me there and pack everything and go somewhere else. I also used to think that in elementary school if my mom ddn`t arrived on time for me. I remembered one day I arrived from school and nobody were home (my mom went to the supermarket), and I sat there and my dog was there and I started to cry: "I told you, they just were looking for the moment, we are all alone now".
GEEZ
0 x
...He will rejoice over thee with joy; He will rest in His love, He will joy over thee with singing...
Zephaniah 3:17
I love this verse!!!!!!
Facebook account: Elo palacios
Zephaniah 3:17
I love this verse!!!!!!
Facebook account: Elo palacios
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.............
I think I beet ya shell
lol
lol
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"In the middle of the night, the idiot himself awaits"
"I have been young, now I am old-ish"
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