I have way to much time on my hands

[bakersfieldpethead]

My Troubled, But Busy Letter
(gotta keep up with this one)

Dear Fruit Cakes

One million, three hundred and 40 thousand billion trillion zillion years ago, before I bought my last car. I was hop-scotching on the sidewalk at school on a winter�s day. I pulled my tank-top off, because it was just too hot. On the last square, my belt came loos and my tights fell down. Did I happen to Minchin it was snowing? It caused me to slip��I slid 5 miles down the hill, on my sled. Oh I was on vacation.

When I got to the store, I had to sit and rest���..uh, 5 miles is a long way to walk in your underwear, in the snow and rain no less. I went in and got me a slurpy, I bet you�re wondering where I kept the money. It was in my pants pocket, I was warring dress slacks. Man, where are you guys at?

Anyway so, I went out and got back into my mustang, and kissed my wife goodbye as I got out of my car. We were at the air port; I was leaving for a cruse to the Bahamas and the ship was about the leave dock, I�m telling you I hate traveling to space��come on it is the 15th Century and I haven�t even got my drivers license yet.

So I sat down in front of the tube and flipped on The Flip Wilson Show�..I phoned for a pizza, and hollered at my dog for leaving his business on my couch. I threaten rover that I would give him to the Delivery Man when he came to deliver my Chinese food. Of course when she came to the door, my cat was no where in site. But hey I guess I�ll keep that pet for a little longer then normal. But I�ll have to give him back when the owner calls me, I bet he misses that bird, I caught it and then fed it to my cat, of course my dog threw it up�.so I don�t know what to tell this guy when he calls.

Anyway it�s rough living alone, if you�ve never done it before, don�t try it until you get the proper medication. I�m on the pill; it�s hard when you have to take 14 SHOTS A DAY, GOOD NIGHT. I didn�t mean to scare this guy, he was vary bothered to be in this mess in the first place, but hey when you get into an accident, you have to pay the penalty, so we gave them 10 yards but they still got a touch down on us. We stink, I haven�t had a shower in a couple of days, so I thought I would take a bath. Oh-no my brother wouldn�t hear of it, he said I�m gonna go in to the bathroom first, I�m older and wiser and your uncle��I was surprised, no way was my younger sister normal.

So anyway, it�s been a long day�.I�ve seen many people and many cars with pets driving them. If it�s not long then email me your topics you can reach me at [email protected]. Thank you and may all your hash browns be crispy and your Jello be firm.

Sincerely but Truthfully
Me, Myself and I am done!

[epdc]

I was going to read all that LOLOL!!! J/K.

wonder how many books would be sell of all the stories you have made.

[Michael]

I wonder how many books would be sell of all the stories you have made.

Do you mean, how many books would it take to contain it all, or how many would actually sell? LOL

[epdc]

I actually meant the second but now that I think about it, I meant those two hehehe.

[SamScales]

Sheesh, you have to wonder??

I mean, come on people. We are reading this stuff - we might as well buy the book(s). Gotta support the starving writers...........

Gotta be entertained somehow.........

[bakersfieldpethead]

Believe Me.........I took a vote with myself and it was 100% hands down, I am an idiot. with glasses on

[epdc]

because usually the smartest ones say that they are idiots

[SamScales]

It's tuff voting with yourself. I mean it could go either way. It's a tuff no-win or win-win situation......just depends how much you vote.

[bakersfieldpethead]

Yes, I understand

I'm in the middle of a re-count right now.

[SamScales]

Oh, you are? Boy, that's another one of those tuff situations. But I have the utmost confidence that you are quite incabable of doing so and that you will have the results you want in several years from now. Go for it and do let us know the results.......
Hint: It may go faster if you put it in a computer.........


Gosh, you crack me up......

[bakersfieldpethead]

I've Won the vote after all. I want to thank all the people that suported me during this trying time. My 2 dogs for always licking my nose when I would pick them up and pet them. Also I want to thank Petra for being my theme music life is great when you got the rock.

I'm gonna make some changes now that i've won, I will no longer eat eggs in the morning, and milk shakes are off the list. I will begin a new style of typing quite semilar to "one finger pecking" this new version of typing is called "Sit-Up Typing" it works like the following.

sit up one (I)
sit up two (')
sit up three (M)
-break-
sit up four (A)
sit up five (N)
-break-
sit up six (I)
sit up seven (D)
sit up eight (I)
sit up nine (O)
sit up ten (T)

[SamScales]

Noo, you can't make changes without management's approval. You can't just abolish eggs and milkshakes, just cos you won! Re-count or no recount this whole election was rigged from the beginning. I demand another vote!

But I do agree on one thing: Life IS great when you got The Rock!!!

Well, guess we'll keep ya in office...........

[onnyII]

I will keep m,y ips sealed on this matter......

bakersfieldpethead u have issues dude.....

[bakersfieldpethead]

Thanks a lot Sam

I've been re-called!

[SamScales]

Well, I hope the re-call will turn out the way I want it to be...............

Gosh, I can't make up my mind........which canditate do I want??
Bakersfield or Bakersfield??????? Gosh, the choice is getting harder by the day. I think we should take another poll.