In need of prayer and advice

[knotodiswrld]

I don’t know if you have done this yet or not, or how your relationship is with your Dad. But I would say that you know your parents didn’t go wrong with you, so you know that they did a great job and have the experience. If you haven’t yet, I would suggest pulling up a chair with your dad and talking to him about it, just let all of your fears out to him about it and have him pray with you about it. He might surprise you and tell you that he had some of the same things go through his mind when he had you.

BPH has a point. If you know your parents didn't go wrong, at least not more so than average, with you then give it a shot. It can't hurt.

I think the reason that both counselors kept focusing on possible childhood sexual abuse is because it is such a common cause for the problems you mentioned. It also takes lots of time to treat and generates plenty of revenue, so there may be some subconscious wishful thinking.

There is a whole other school of thought in therapy known as "Brief Therapy". The idea is that you first help the person learn coping mechanisms to deal with their problem and basically reduce the pain and stress their problem is causing them. Instead of trying to find the root cause of anger or anxiety at the beginning, you first teach them techniques for controlling it and overcoming it. The idea is that this helps a person to get control of the problem more quickly.

Then, if the person wants, they can try to find the root cause. Quite often, once the problem has been licked to a certain extent, the person can be more "self-aware" and able to find the cause themselves.

Not everyone agrees with it, but it worked better for me than any other type of counselling ever did. You might want to see if you can find someone in your area using it.

As far as Christian vs. Secular counselors, there some very crummy Christian counselors out there and some very good secular ones. A really good Christian counselor is ideal, but a good secular counselor is better than a crummy Christian one. A good counselor will respect your beliefs even if he/she does not agree with them.

Martin Luther is reputed to have said that if he faced surgery he would rather have it done by a Turkish (i.e Muslim) surgeon than a Christian butcher. I'm not sure if he really said that, but I agree with the sentiment.

[bakersfieldpethead]

Martin Luther is reputed to have said that if he faced surgery he would rather have it done by a Turkish (i.e Muslim) surgeon than a Christian butcher. I'm not sure if he really said that, but I agree with the sentiment.

I never heard of him saying that, but at the same time if I had to choose, I would just pray God's will be done, but that's just me After all what would the Turkish Muslim do to you if he found out you were a Christian? If he follows his own book, then He has to kill you.

[CatNamedManny]

Martin Luther is reputed to have said that if he faced surgery he would rather have it done by a Turkish (i.e Muslim) surgeon than a Christian butcher. I'm not sure if he really said that, but I agree with the sentiment.

I never heard of him saying that, but at the same time if I had to choose, I would just pray God's will be done, but that's just me After all what would the Turkish Muslim do to you if he found out you were a Christian? If he follows his own book, then He has to kill you.

According to "his own book," if he kills you, he is no longer a Muslim and will burn in hellfire. We need to stop using caricatured arguments and rely a little more on facts: The Koran calls all followers of the one true God -- Christians, Jews and Muslims -- "believers." It's an important distinction.

Never mind the fact that I could pull a few verses out of the Bible that make it sound like Martin Luther's duty would be to kill the Turkish doctor ... or I could just let people like this do it: http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/cruelty/long.html. They have 1,199 examples of what they consider to be cruelty and/or violence in the Bible, mostly from the Old Testament, but some of it from the New, as well, for example, Acts 3:23:

"And it shall come to pass, that every soul, which will not hear that prophet [Jesus], shall be destroyed from among the people."

All I'm saying is when our own scriptures, which teach us of the love and grace of God and the one way of salvation, can be so twisted to sound like we should be slaughtering all unbelievers, maybe we should be a bit more skeptical when others purport to tell us how inherently violent another religion is.

And I can't for the life of me tell what this has to do with exe's problem, except I guess Bakes would tell you to avoid Muslim therapists, lest they go all jihad on you in the middle of your session.

[bakersfieldpethead]

And I can't for the life of me tell what this has to do with exe's problem, except I guess Bakes would tell you to avoid Muslim therapists, lest they go all jihad on you in the middle of your session.

I don't know what it has to do with exe's problem either, I was just responding to knotodiswrld post.
So back to exe's problem.

[zak89]

According to "his own book," if he kills you, he is no longer a Muslim and will burn in hellfire. We need to stop using caricatured arguments and rely a little more on facts: The Koran calls all followers of the one true God -- Christians, Jews and Muslims -- "believers." It's an important distinction.

Ouch - in all honesty cat... I understand you are politically progressive, but do you actually follow the left's narrative *everywhere*? I mean, I trust you aren't enthusiastic about abortion, right? No, I'm not trying to equate the two - it just seems wherever mainstream conservative Christian thought and far left diverge (which they do most of the time) you either lean towards the leftist or go the whole way. I honestly don't mean to offend, but just tell me there is *some* far-left tenet you don't hold, please? I mean, I probably agree with average conservatism thought 65-75% of the time... if it was 90-100%, I'd be worried about my discernment.

"The Koran calls all followers of the one true God -- Christians, Jews and Muslims -- "believers.""

<hangs head and sighs...> I guess I don't want to go there, but this is a tragic misunderstanding, one that will cost dearly if it gains traction.

[zak89]

cruelty and/or violence in the Bible, mostly from the Old Testament, but some of it from the New, as well, for example, Acts 3:23:

Of course, they left out the first verse:...

Acts 3:22: For Moses said, 'The Lord your God will raise up for you a prophet...

I'm sorry, but there's no equating the Koran and the Bible as far as "tough-love" passages go.

[Dan]

The only 1 answer that is for everyone is God. When it comes to counseling someone it’s not always wise to group people in categories because we are individuals and make our own choices in life, so in that sense, one answer is not always the same for everyone.

When I was a child, I had a problem peeing in my bed at night, so my Grandmother decided I should see a counselor to find out what was going on. The counselor wanted to know if I was being abused in any way, so He started asking questions about my father. We didn’t find out the answer until later in life when they found out I was a diabetic and my sugar had been elevating for some time, which explained why I was sluggish, had problems with depression and I was overweight.

I know this person who had bladder problems until their teens, undoubtedly it was because he was abused as a child, and was beaten and whipped as a form of discipline for being a problem child. This guy had so many problems relating other people he felt like an alien. Until he realized that his real father is in heaven.

Every word that comes out of our mouth and action that is taken by hand has a direct effect of our kids, so I applaud the man that cries for his child, protects his child, these are the acts of a real man.

[bakersfieldpethead]

The only 1 answer that is for everyone is God. When it comes to counseling someone it’s not always wise to group people in categories because we are individuals and make our own choices in life, so in that sense, one answer is not always the same for everyone.

When I was a child, I had a problem peeing in my bed at night, so my Grandmother decided I should see a counselor to find out what was going on. The counselor wanted to know if I was being abused in any way, so He started asking questions about my father. We didn’t find out the answer until later in life when they found out I was a diabetic and my sugar had been elevating for some time, which explained why I was sluggish, had problems with depression and I was overweight.

I know this person who had bladder problems until their teens, undoubtedly it was because he was abused as a child, and was beaten and whipped as a form of discipline for being a problem child. This guy had so many problems relating other people he felt like an alien. Until he realized that his real father is in heaven.

Every word that comes out of our mouth and action that is taken by hand has a direct effect of our kids, so I applaud the man that cries for his child, protects his child, these are the acts of a real man.

What I was saying was that not all cases result in the same answer. My case was not abuse, it was health related.

[Dan]

The only 1 answer that is for everyone is God. When it comes to counseling someone it’s not always wise to group people in categories because we are individuals and make our own choices in life, so in that sense, one answer is not always the same for everyone.

When I was a child, I had a problem peeing in my bed at night, so my Grandmother decided I should see a counselor to find out what was going on. The counselor wanted to know if I was being abused in any way, so He started asking questions about my father. We didn’t find out the answer until later in life when they found out I was a diabetic and my sugar had been elevating for some time, which explained why I was sluggish, had problems with depression and I was overweight.

I know this person who had bladder problems until their teens, undoubtedly it was because he was abused as a child, and was beaten and whipped as a form of discipline for being a problem child. This guy had so many problems relating other people he felt like an alien. Until he realized that his real father is in heaven.

Every word that comes out of our mouth and action that is taken by hand has a direct effect of our kids, so I applaud the man that cries for his child, protects his child, these are the acts of a real man.

What I was saying was that not all cases result in the same answer. My case was not abuse, it was health related.

Oh yeah I totally agree Bakes, Sigmund Freud... Sigmund Fraud many times often over diagnosed.

[CatNamedManny]

According to "his own book," if he kills you, he is no longer a Muslim and will burn in hellfire. We need to stop using caricatured arguments and rely a little more on facts: The Koran calls all followers of the one true God -- Christians, Jews and Muslims -- "believers." It's an important distinction.

Ouch - in all honesty cat... I understand you are politically progressive, but do you actually follow the left's narrative *everywhere*? I mean, I trust you aren't enthusiastic about abortion, right? No, I'm not trying to equate the two - it just seems wherever mainstream conservative Christian thought and far left diverge (which they do most of the time) you either lean towards the leftist or go the whole way. I honestly don't mean to offend, but just tell me there is *some* far-left tenet you don't hold, please? I mean, I probably agree with average conservatism thought 65-75% of the time... if it was 90-100%, I'd be worried about my discernment.

"The Koran calls all followers of the one true God -- Christians, Jews and Muslims -- "believers.""

<hangs head and sighs...> I guess I don't want to go there, but this is a tragic misunderstanding, one that will cost dearly if it gains traction.

The hubris and offensiveness of this post (regardless of intent) aside, I found the bolded part funny (not haha funny) because of its self-affirming yet self-contradictory nature.

So what you're saying is what you believe is "mainstream" but what I believe is "far left." That's wonderfully convenient for your belief system.

Zak, I'm trying to figure out why it is that whenever the far right diverges from mainstream progressive Christian thought, you either lean toward the right or go the whole way.

I won't go so far as to question your discernment, passively or otherwise, nor will I ask you to prove to me that you fit sufficiently with my predefined vision of "mainstream" Christian thought.

[bakersfieldpethead]

Again what does this have to do with exe's problem?