Ron White is right. They aren't illusive creatures!

[brent]

Why is it that if I went deer hunting, I would have to go for days to find one, let alone kill one? When, out of the blue, I get a call from my wife, who was quite shaken. She informs me that sh got her first kill, without leaving the comfort of the minivan. Infact, she didn't have to take the Oklahoma/Kansas backroads. In fact, she didn't even have to slow down on HWY 169. In fact, she didn't even have to think about going hunting. She didn't get up early, have to spray deer pee on her shoes or anything. She smooth out killed the minivan....mmm, uh, I mean the dear effortlessly!

Rest in peace minivan, and you stupid deer. You should have been mine!

[Petrafan4life79]

Hey Brent, I know how that goes.

Last July I was on my way to work and hadn't even left the city limits yet when a buck ran out in front of me. He ran out in such a way that I had no time to hit the brake. Clobbered him at 50, just before the speed limit goes up. I had known already that there were no oncoming cars, but when I hit him, my hood flew up and blinded me, but I just stayed as straight as I could and came to a stop. After calling the cops and my husband, we noticed I severed one of the buck's legs and tore his antlers right off. Underneath the hood was just matted with fur. Both the cop and my husband agreed the hood is what kept that deer from going through the windshield. Now everyday as I travel that route to work I pray that God will keep the deer off the roadways, etc. and so far it's been an answered prayer.

I don't know if I'd call this "God", but since it was an older van, the collision company junked it and we got almost $1400 back on it. Our newer vehicle had a part go out in it around that same time that costed almost $1400. So, guess where that claim money went?


We also picked up those deer horn thingies from Walmart. You attach them to the bumper of your car and when you're going over 30 they're supposed to give off a squeal or something that only the deer hear and it keeps them away from your car. I've also heard though that it can confuse the deer and it might still run out in front of you. I don't know! But, if you're interested, the horn thingies are like $4 at Walmart I think in the car accessories section? I can't remember where they are, but they're fairly small so you might have to ask about them.

At any rate, thank God for mine and your wife's protection in those accidents. I take it she had her seatbelt on? I had mine on as well, but still felt a jolt on impact and was rather sore for a day or two. I don't want to imagine what would've happened had I not had my belt on.

[seichu kaisho]

Window explosion:

(n.) 1. what occurs when your horned highway friend thrusts its antlers at the side of your vehicle to say hello. 2. what occurs when a group of gangstas decides to go on a drive-by shooting cruise with a paintball gun

Horned highway friend:

(n.) a deer that is desperate enough for human contact that it will dart out in front of your car just to spend some time with you.