Something About a News Release

[bakersfieldpethead]

breaking news....

BAKERSFIELDPETHEAD TALKS AGAIN TODAY ABOUT DIET COKE!!!

(Bakersfield, CA)

Bakersfieldpethead (aka "bakes"), has called a press conference today to protest the use of Diet Pepsi in some of the outerparts of McDonnalds in United States.

"I've been on the east coast of the United States and during my trips through the U.S. I have never been so full of emotion about something as I am about the very thought of McDonnalds serving Diet Pepsi and Pepsi with their Big Macs."

He goes on

"Coca-Cola, Diet Coke and other Coca-Cola products are the only thing to ever grace the taste of a Big Mac or even a Quarter Pounder. I simply can not drink Diet Pepsi with a Big Mac, It's not in Me to do that!"

Ronald McDonnald was called for an interview and was forced to decline; he was unsure if "Grisom" would be infact 'sober' at the McDonnalds pint 'play house.

More as this story develops, tonight on MSNBC-DEFG the history of Bakersfieldpethead and his love for McDonnalds and Diet Coke. Tomorrow will be a repete with a side of fries.

[Susannah]

Diet Coke...blech! And Ronald McDonald is just plain scary.

[seichu kaisho]

SOME DUDE YAMASAKI EXPRESSES FEELINGS ABOUT DIET POPS. . .ERR, I MEAN, DIET CARBONATED BEVERAGES

Bratwurst, S�ndwichland - A local resident named Some Dude Yamasaki wished to express his utter distaste about diet carbonated drinks to the press.

"I swear, ya'alls," Some Dude Yamasaki said in a dazed, nutty voice, "Yee-up, that was the best earthworm I ever eated. Boy, I tell ya, t'ain't tasted nuttin' like a microwaved peanut. Them darned fish bones was crunchy as. . ."

The reporter had to interrupt Some Dude Yamasaki to ask him to get to the subject.

"Oh, right, right," Some Dude Yamasaki continued in his wavering voice, "'Bout dem diet pops. That darned Diet Coke I drank yesterday was crunchy as fish bones. . .er, I mean. . . it just ain't got da same zip that reg-ya-ler Coke got. Man, them Pepsi's? Them's loaded with sweetness. Then ya just take da sweetness outta it and ya call it Diet Pepsi. Ya followin' me, right?"

The reporter nodded.

Some Dude Yamasaki went on to discuss how he thought it would be cool for the McDonalds restaurants to add an extra "n" to their name. Then he started rambling on about how pork burgers should be used as legal tender. It was at this point that the reporter got tired of listening to him and left.

- Erkel Berkle, Stopda Press

[seichu kaisho]

You all are crazy people. This would get annoying after a while.

PETHEAD EXECUTIONER TELLS OTHER PETHEADS ORF - I MEAN, OFF

One day, a Pethead who calls himself Exectioner read fictitious news reports submitted solely for the sake of humour and laughs, on a Petra fan community website. After reading, he "executed" his views to the writers by stating, (quote) "You all are crazy people. This would get annoying after a while." (unquote)

The authors of these bogus press releases are known as Bakersfieldpethead (a.k.a. Toilet Man), Enosh "Pay the Fees Please" Fee, and seichu kaisho (the "new and unimproved" version of yamasaki moto).

Executioner currently drives a 1988 Festiva which formerly belonged to Enosh Fee. �

- Yodelman, La Prenda Asociada de la Manzana

[bakersfieldpethead]

Bakersfieldpethead Is Back With Yet Another

(petheadville, USA) After reviewing old posts, Bakes makes a decision about something that almost has nothing to do with anything. Bakes releases this reply at 7:09 am PST. When told that was pretty early for Bakes, he replies “Early, I never went to sleep.”

Amazing, when the world who already knew Bakes spends a record amount of the time on the toilet, they still wondered what it would be like if He ever had to take a combination of laxatives and water pills, the results came through this morning at 8 pounds and 4 flushes, Bakes will be releasing a 12 volume encyclopedia of the world of idiots and a 6 episode Mini Series to be released on the National Geographic Channel, date not yet released.