I'm hurting ...

[rbnewsdesk]

Brave fronts aren't cutting it with me any more. I am writing this in pain because I am tired of constantly feeling I am all alone, that no one wants to listen to me, that I only fit into someone's plans when I have something to offer and am not even given a second thought when I cant, rejected by family and people who call me friend.

I am born again so Christ is all I need, right? He is, and He is the only thing that has kept me from becoming more insane than I already am. It doesnt minimize the pain of constantly being told your ideas are not good enough, your way of doing things is not good enough, and you are not good enough. It doesnt take the pain away when family and friends dont call or check up on you, or they make petty excuses to cause problems. It doesnt take the pain away when you try to speak up for yourself and its always about the other person's perspective. It doesnt take the pain away when you are reminded how your past behaviors are held against you, and how you must pay for the mistakes you make.

The only saving grace I am having with all this is the knowledge that I am not going to deal with any of this when Christ greats me in Heaven.

[calicowriter]

I am so sorry that you are in pain. I understand much of what you say, having the same feelings myself. I have asked God to send his comfort and grace to you.

It's really not all about us you know; it's about God and His glory. Try to hold your head high, remembering Whose child you are and not let Satan steal your joy.

One thing that I realized not too long ago as I read the Scriptures is that in most of the people's eyes, Jesus didn't measure up. He wasn't the kind of Messiah they expected or wanted. They wanted a leader, a warrior, to kick Rome out of Israel. Even His apostles didn't understand, and in their fear, they abandoned Him. Jesus told us that if we follow Him, we shouldn't expect any better treatment.

I hope this helps a little.

[Shell]

I'm sorry you're hurting. It is very painful to feel like you don't have anyone to talk to or like nobody wants to listen. God made us with a need for connection, and it is a normal response when that need isn't being filled to hurt. God will see you through this, and like Matthew said, find someone to talk to. I can't promise I could solve anything for you, but you can send me a private message any time. It can help just to have someone to listen.


You're not alone, and you're in my prayers.

[rbnewsdesk]

Your comfort and prayers, from all of you, is appreciated.

My thoughts are not suicidal, thank goodness, depressing yet, suicidal no. My comment about meeting Christ in Heaven meant that sometimes I feel the stuff we have to deal with in this world is meant to make us realize that Earth is just our temporary home and not get too comfortable with it, that our real home address is Heaven. I will be there some day when the Lord calls me up, not by my own means. I am sorry if my comments were suggesting other thoughts.

The fellowship idea is a great one. So far, I have been to wonderful, Bible teaching, worship singing churches, but fellowship has been a hard one to establish for one reason or another. Part of the fault is mine for not making that kind of connection so far, but you are right in that I need connection, and making the effort to find it is the place to start.

Thank you all again. I do take prayer requests too for you, if you have any.

Take care.

[yamasaaaki har har]

You have my utmost sympathy because as a teenager I dealt with severe depression too. It was an almost paralyzing sense of despair, like all hope in earthly life was lost and I no longer found pleasure from things I used to enjoy.

If not for my faith in Jesus, I probably would have made bad choices that would end me up in prison or an insane asylum or even dead. God gave me the grace and love to keep from doing many things to harm myself and others that I may have done otherwise. I see it nothing short of a miracle that I am still alive and sane to this day.

For rb and anyone else here dealing with depression, remember to pray through it and never lose hope that God will restore your joy again. And be sure to find encouragement from other believers who care about you.