Petra Parody Lands at the Zone

[bakersfieldpethead]

For many months and a year, we have heard about the once forgotten but funny lyrics that have made us laugh. Some of us cried because we remembered that we were holding onions while we wanted to quickly check our emails and posts.

But Let it Be Announced........The Best of the Best has landed at the zone, and even more parody lyrics will make it's mark.

I can go on and on about this, but who really cares.......let's get to the good part says all of you kids that are holding oreo cookies......why can't they just sale a jar full of the white stuff? that's all everybody wants.

[bakersfieldpethead]

Pance
from the 1991 album: Un-smelt Power!

V.1
Come-On, Yeah, Yeah

I been to the office and left alone,
I'd feel a lot better If I would have changed my tone,
"I got mad"
But there is no use feeling like the deed is done,
I got to top my act,
And then I got to run.
"Very Fast"

And then as the Teacher stood facing away,

Chorus
I panced the one who tought me,
I got him good and showed His underwhere,
I panced the one who tought me,
When He looked back, You know I wasn't there.

-Bridge
I ran fast - I ran fast
And not slow - And not slow,
You'de never find out unless somebody told,

Stand cool,
Be straight,
You'll never have fun,
If you always hesitate.

-Bridge 2
Pance, Pance
Don't try the teachers that are very old.

-Chorus
Pance the one who tought ya
Get them good show their underwhere
Pance the one who tought ya
Be fast, don't let em see ya there.

Pance, Pance, Pance,
Pance, Pance, Pance,
Pance the one who tought ya.

-Repeat until Collage.

[bakersfieldpethead]

Desitin
Recorded on the 1991 album, Un-smelt Power

-V.1
Heeeyyyyy, what an itchy mess.
When you start to get dressed.

-Chorus
It's Your Desitin, it will give that rash a droubt,

It's your desitin, it will make you wanna shout,

Heavenly Desitin, no more itch, no more doubt

Desitin, Wo-oooooo Desitin.
Ooooh Yeah, oooh Desitin. yeah, yeah,

-Bridge
When are you gonna go and get that cream, known thru out all History,

Nothing else can take it's place, the soothing, cooling oinment, no mistake.

It's one of a kind.

When you see a big red mark,
It's starts to itch in the dark,
You scratch and scratch but it gets bad,
Then the happiness goes and then you're feeling mad.

Or Even Sad.

-Guitar Solo

Desitin,
Desitin,
Wwwooooo, Desitin...yeah, yeah.

[bakersfieldpethead]

There's Seconds For Ya! (short version)
Recorded from 1982's "There's Seconds For Ya!"

V.1
You made your lasagna,
You made it for two,
But somehow I'm not full yet,
Can you make more for you,

I know that it sounds rude,
This way will never pay,
There's one thing that I long to hear,
It's the thing you never say,

Chorus
There's Seconds for ya,
When your done with your first plate,
And you eat every bit -
except the greens that you hate,
There's Seconds for ya,
Even Thirds and even fourths,
They that eat all of their food -
are awarded even more.

[bakersfieldpethead]

The Cat and Bird Song - (short version)
(The Coloring Song)
From the 1981 album "Never Eat Pie"

Red is the color of the bird that flown,
up the skirt of your aunts sunday dress ward-robe.

Blue is the color of the cool-aid stain, when the cat saw the bird and he went insane.

And he chased it down, as they went around,
The bird hit the wall, the cat hit the ground.

And he chased it down, as they went around,
as the bird and the cat, got ran out of town.

[bakersfieldpethead]

Never Eat Pie (short version)
from the 1981 album "Never Eat Pie"

V.1
You saw the doctor today,
You wanted that surgery, to throw your stoumach away - hey,
So you paid the three grand to him,
You think that this greedy man, can make you very slim.

Chorus:
Just Never Eat Pie no, that's to much fat for you right now,
Do a little jog - yeah, but if you think to,
Never Eat Pie no, it will clog your heart and fill your thies,
Eat a Rice Cake - yeah, it's good for you.

[bakersfieldpethead]

Fleas
From the 1984 album "Beat Me Senseless"

You may try the dip, you may try the spray,
You may try so many things, by the end of the day,
Hidden in the Threshold, They’ll jump out at night,
You’ll slap yourself silly, when you feel them bight,

It’s Fleas, Fleas, Fleas down on the floor,
It’s Fleas, Fleas, Fleas over by the door,
Upon my English lab, I thought I trained Him right,
Now I look to my left and my Right,
There’s Fleas, Fleas, Fleas.

Kneeling on the Carpet, I clean up my dog’s mess,
There jumps a flea, to bite me on the chest,
Where is my Dog rover, nowhere to be found,
As soon as it’s not cold, I’m gonna throw Him out,

Cause there’s Fleas, Fleas, Fleas down on the floor,
It’s Fleas, Fleas, Fleas over by the door,
Upon my English lab, I thought I trained Him right,
Now I look to my left and my Right,
There’s Fleas, Fleas, Fleas.

I’ll try it all, it’s new I’ll buy it,
If they’re not gone, I hope they’re diein’
But I’ve tried everything, that could take these fleas away,
But I know I’ll see a flea before the end of the day,

Heeyyyyy, Dog, I’m talking to you,
Heeyyyyy, I see ya itching too,
Heeyyyyy, I’m talking to you,
Heeyyyyy, you’re getting a flea dip too.

Cause there’s Fleas, Fleas, Fleas down on the floor,
It’s Fleas, Fleas, Fleas over by the door,
Upon my English lab, I thought I trained Him right,
Now I look to my left and my Right,
There’s Fleas, Fleas, Fleas.

[bakersfieldpethead]

Beat Me Senseless
from the 1984 album "Beat Me Senseless"

Caught you in dispose, It was grouse you see,
Going against the flow, of your weight it seemed,
Trying a Diet Out, When you start to lose,
Pressure to eat a cake, so you don�t refuse,

Why Now�.(why now) Why Now�.(why now)
Why Now�.(why now) Why Now

You can eat more than an elephant; you won�t even stop for a drink �..no!
You can shake the earth when you move your arm,
And your flab could beat, really beat me senseless,

Oh you found a dime, so it�s off to the store,
When you arrive, the Cake is five cents more,
You fall to the ground, and you start to cry,
So they give it to you free, in fear they all will die,

You can eat more than an elephant; you won�t even stop for a drink �..no!
You can shake the earth when you move your arm,
And your flab could beat, really beat me senseless,

You can eat it all,
You won�t even choke,
You�re not even measured by pound,
Should you ever die,
When your time is up,
They can�t stick you underground,

Beat Me Senseless

You can eat more than an elephant; you won�t even stop for a drink �..no!
You can shake the earth when you move your arm,
And your flab could beat, really beat me senseless.

[bakersfieldpethead]

Jerald and Klyde
from the 2003 album "Jerald and Klyde"

I have this sandwich, it sits in front of me,
It�s got this weird smile with its cheese,
I try to hold back, sometimes it�s just know use,
But when I say I�m thirsty, it hits me with the juice,

These are the things, I go through everyday,
Sometimes I Feel Like Jerald and Klyde,
Two men fighting for a sandwich, oh why?

I have this sandwich, I�d throw it all away,
But Despite my real desire, it has alot to say,
I try not to speak, in hopes it will shut up,
Oh wait it�s not me, it�s Klyde that�s sandwich struck,

He know the secret, the mayo�s not light.
Sometimes I Feel Like Jerald and Klyde,
Grown men fighting for a sandwich on rhy, both really hungry,
I have to decide,
sometimes,
I feel like,
Jerald and Klyde

I need a pizza to rescue me, Chinese Food don�t last,
Cause when the hunger starts rolling in, I start to itch, I make the sandwich

Sometimes I Feel Like Jerald and Klyde,
Grown men fighting for a sandwich on rhy, both really hungry,
I have to decide,
sometimes,
I feel like,
Jerald and Klyde

Jerald and Klyde

Jerald and Klyde

Oooohhh Yeah!

[bakersfieldpethead]

"It�s all in the Ice Cream Cone"
From the 2003 album Jerald & Klyde

You were dieing for chocolate, you had nothing to eat,
You started seeing faces, eating heaps of your ice cream,
You had plenty of time to hit the store, but you stayed home just as well,
Now you�re sweating in doubt, cause you just found out, you didn't pay your ice cream bill.

There you go to the Ice Cream Store, only to find the crave

Is all in the Ice Cream cone, it�s all in the Ice Cream cone,
When the Ice creams gone and you have nothing to show,
It�s all in the Ice Cream cone, it�s all in the Ice Cream cone,

You have nerve ends of Ice Cream, Sugar flows through your veins,
But with out this Waffle handle, you�re gonna go insane,
So you jump in the car and speed away, you gotta get some fast,
But now you frown, you should slow down, it�s a cop that you just past

As you now sit, with a speeding ticket, the only thing you can say,

It�s all in the Ice Cream cone, it�s all in the Ice Cream cone,
When the Ice creams gone and you have nothing to show,
It�s all in the Ice Cream cone, it�s all in the Ice Cream cone,

A lot a fat, lot a fat, lot a fat, lot a fat

So you get that waffle size,
You don�t care, how you pay the price

It�s all in the Ice Cream cone, it�s all in the Ice Cream cone,
When the Ice creams gone and you have nothing to show,
It�s all in the Ice Cream cone, it�s all in the Ice Cream cone.

Never put it in a bowl,
It�s in the Ice Cream Cone,

It�s all in the Ice Cream cone, it�s all in the Ice Cream cone,
When the Ice creams gone and you have nothing to show,
It�s all in the Ice Cream cone, it�s all in the Ice Cream cone.

It�s all in the Ice Cream cone,

It�s all in the Ice Cream cone,

It�s all in the Ice Cream cone.

[bakersfieldpethead]

This is Nice
From the 1995 album "No Sprouts"
(think twice)

V.1
Someone�s gonna shoot, everything in sight,
Someone�s gonna stub, their toe in the night,
Maybe I�ve went overboard, with these songs,
Some how I�m not writing, everything so long,
Wait just a second,
Wait just a second,

Chorus:
Wait � oh great this is nice
Something says please through this song away,
Wait � I won�t even think twice
Songs collect dust, and attract little mice

V.2
You were drinking� when you wrote that last chorus
You were really high in your last divorce
But just when you�re called the grand dork king,
You make retarded, the � "in" - thing
Wait just a second,
Please, wait just a second,

Chorus:
Hey � oh great this is nice
Something said, I should have thrown this away,
Wait � I won�t even think twice
I pass lyrics out, like gassy little sprites
Hey � Oh great this is nice
You saw me jump up and run away,
Wait � I feel naughty but nice,
I stuck my rear in a bucket of ice,

Bridge
Face to face with it,
You better smell again, better smell again,
Take another whiff,
Or second sight, because you know its right,
And you say I�ll cross the line��..

Wait just a second,
Oh no, please Wait just a second,


Chorus:
Hey � oh great this is nice
Why didn�t I throw this song way
Wait � I won�t even think twice
I sat down and had dinner with those little mice
Hey � Oh now this is nice
I�m gonna get up and throw this song away
Wait � I feel like I got iced
I found out my gas has got a nasty little bite

[bakersfieldpethead]

Turning Off the Lights (short version)
From the 1974 debut album �pe-uh-tra� (hint: grunt that �uh�)

I�m sitting on the pot
I�m holding on to polls that help not to faint
I�m telling you that I would rather
Be sailing down a really calm golden lake,

Turning off the lights, in the middle of the night
Constipating pain, I should be out of sight,
Turning on the lights, can�t make up my mind,
Constipating pain, in the middle of the night

[bakersfieldpethead]

MIME FIELD
from the 1989 recording "On Pie"
this was originaly posted by Spot

See the dancing clown?
He doesn't say a word
You'd think the circus was in town when you see this crazy bird.

Watch him very closely
For a clown he's not so funny-
Acts like he's trapped inside a box and the people toss him money.

And it's a shame
The guy should get a real job
And it's so lame
Why give money to this slob?

It's a mime field-there's no avoiding him
He'll chase you down and hassle you in the park.
It's a mime field-you look like a huge fool
Your girlfriend thinks that he is so cool!

Marcel Marceau must have been a heel
So keep your head down and keep your eyes peeled

Cause life is...
Life is a mime field!

[bakersfieldpethead]

Originaly Posted by SpamWars: Based on Test of time (obviously), and some rhymes and lyrical ideas shamefully stolen. I thought this up in roughly 20 minutes. Based on how much my cats have shed this summer :/

The Test Of Shed
From the 2003 album Jerald & Klyde

When winter comes, you never know
About your cats, they never show
Of any type of pain or warmth
They keep it on, they keep it grown
You never see it come
The test of shed

Now summer's come, it's way too fast
But it's so long, oh does it last
And now your cats, now they do shed
They shed a lot, and on your head
You'll need a lot to pass

The test of shed
And your cats are shedding every time you turn around
The test of shed
It's a test of brushes you really wish you'd found
It's how warm it is; you'll never quit it
It's how you're brushing them when you think it
The test of shed

Tomorrow there will be some more cat hair
There might even be some inside of your underwear
If you have a cat, you'd best beware

Shedding every day, every moment of your life
Even when you're not around, can you handle all the strife?

Shedding every day, every moment of your life
Even when you're not around, can you handle all the strife?

(repeat chorus/bridge, ad lib, and ROCK OUT)

[bakersfieldpethead]

orginaly posted by: Capin' Crunchies

Occupied
From the 1983 recording "Not a Good Parody"

Vs1: I�m running around the perimeter,
searching for an opening.
Running around on the stoney ground
with my stomach groaning.
I�m so full, and such a glout, for I had to devour
Everything, but now I feel another greater power.

Chorus:
Occupied, occupied,
can�t believe all the porta-potty doors say.
Occupied, occupied,
why can�t someone let me in.

Vs.2: Turkey on rye with chips on the side,
six feet long from Subway
A half of pizza, extra cheese,
Another handful of candy.
A bowl of peas, some french fries please.
And a can of Spam.
Now my stomach�s telling me I gotta use the can.

Repeat Chorus

Bridge:
I turn my head as someone unlocks a door.
Starting to run there, I�ve never felt like this before.
And now I clearly see,
should�ve never had that ice-cream.
I thought it�d be good, and here is my reward!

Chorus2:
Occupied, I�m inside,
shut the door now my porta-potty door says
Occupied, occupied,
never gonna do that again.